03 Mar Imagining Cork Strippers
Sweet mammaries vs twisted melons
Cork Strippers: A guide on how to loose on your stag
In Cork strippers are a bit hard to find. Actually it is a bit of a strange situation, as the city is like a Kansas hurricane when it comes to partying. When on a stag in Cork City, you can go either totally insane in the likes of the Crane Lane, or enjoy the cosy sesh feeling of the likes of Coughlan’s bar. In either situation, the feeling is relaxed, the people are as friendly as they can be…unless you are from Kerry or Dublin. But when it comes to strippers you will find a couple of overpriced and small strip clubs. Without going into the whole naming and shaming routine, you will defo get a show that your granny will find acceptable. That in itself speaks volumes. Well, it depends on if your granny was a stripper herself.
If you are into the “average look” strippers Cork strip joints are the place to be. On the other hand, if you are looking for Spearmint Rhino stripograms, then Cork clubs can’t offer much more than the Oliver Plunkett street at 2 am.
A good heart comes with a dirty mind
The lads know that real dancers hold secrets in their eyes. The best strippers in Cork come from a delivery service. You might thin that the “dial a stripper” service is a thing of the past. Well, not in the rebel city. Performance agencies can offer some of the best stripograms you will ever experience. And most of all this display of beauty and naught can happen in the comfort of your home. Thus, secrecy is key when looking for your own private “titillation”.
Obviously, you will find some venues that have an open mind. At the same time it is always a good practice to ask the management of the bar or hotel for permission. First and foremost because it is nice to be nice. Then, practically speaking, it is hard to sneak in a stripper dressed as a policewoman. The stripper takeaway comes complete with sound system and driver, so this dynamic duo will need a bit of guidance in order to set up for the performance.
Plan of Action for a stripper attack
The best option is to hold the show in the rented accommodation. You will need to make sure that the stag is unaware of your plans to “attack” him with x-rated live nudity. You will also need to make sure that he is not on a full belly. Last thing you want is a stag with no strength to appreciate the show.
For first timers and not only
The routine is pretty simple. The Cork Strippers will sneak up on the unlucky Stag. All they need is a dance floor and a sturdy chair. You may find a secret spot in the Old Oak bar. Our strippers will keep the boots on. Then the lace will leave their bodies. Your heart will be racing. If the Stag is an eager beaver he will feel the sweet mamaries cause some temporary fever. Maybe a kiss on the cheek?
In the event that your stag fails to secure a stripper to call over on the night of the stag party there is always a second chance. Simply you can book a stripogram for breakfast. There is nothing funnier than watching the poor stag getting a nude show, while he is hanging like a dog.
For Stags that splash the cash
For the Cork Strippers, Cobh is a second home. You might ask: Why Cobh? Just think of a classy yacht moored safely while the whole crew proceeds to a long list of activities. Yes, drinking and having a topless barmaid offering shots and the best company a stag can imagine. If you can afford €10 smoothie bowls in Dublin, you can also afford a night of luxury on the Atlantic coast. Let the good times roll!
How deep is your love?
For your best buddy you want only the best! A dominatrix is something that doesn’t exactly come to mind first thing in the morning. Well, hold tight. You can order a whipping just to make sure that his future wife will ask questions. It is the time to flog Johnny, because he has been a very naughty boy.
The Cork Strippers hold the secret smiles of the Stags that have suffered their perfect routines. Maybe the compliments they got when the Stag Party came over to offer them a cocktail. Long Island or Sex on the Beach? The Stag parties in Cork will march on the pathways of both sides of river Lee, letting out screams of excitement.